A Letter to Elf on the Shelf – Setting the Record Straight

  • Mike McCurry
  • 12/10/15
Dear Elf on the Shelf,
 
I’m writing this little note today to voice some concerns and questions I have. A lot has happened since I first met you. I have grown up a lot, and certainly my Christmas list has changed since we first met.
 
Do you remember when you first showed up at our house? It was a long time ago, maybe 6 years or so, and we decided to call you Cookies and Cream because it was your favorite food. We began getting to know each other by exchanging notes, and you would move each night to a new location in our house.
 
At first, I thought it was a little weird that you hung out in my house. Kind of like a camera on the shelf — reporting back to the big guy and all. My parents said that it is usually not cool for someone to spy on us. My question is this: Why would Santa need an Elf to get updates on our behavior when there are NSA cameras everywhere? My dad keeps laughing and saying something about George Orwell’s book 1984 coming true. I don’t know what that means but you seem to do a good job at what you do.
 
The one exception is that you don’t seem to notice that my brother has not been very nice. Why is it that he gets exactly what he asked for from Santa and gets no punishment? Do you not see that he is misbehaving? My parents said that if we don’t act right, Santa will not bring anything. On several occasions (when my mom was really mad), she told us there was NO WAY we would get anything at all!
 
I recently saw you at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. It was the first time I ever saw you move. Maybe it was just the wind blowing you around, but it looked as though you were waving and looking right at me. Of course you knew exactly what I was thinking: “I hope no one touches the Elf!”
 
We kids know that you are Santa’s scout, and our parents said the one big rule was that we never, ever touch you. If we did, the magic would disappear and you would not come back the next day — or ever! We would never touch you because then you wouldn’t report back to Santa about what we wanted for Christmas or if we have been good or bad. How you got in the parade without anyone touching you is a mystery.
 
I was wondering if you would like a new stocking hat, a fresh set of clothes or different shoes? Some of my friends say that their Elf wears different hats and clothes throughout the Christmas season. I guess some are quite fashionable and creative. You only wear plain, red and white PJs and a stocking hat around our house. Please let me know if you would like to wear something different because I’m happy to get you another change of clothes. Just write back and let me know.
 
Finally, I am a little confused by my parents’ behavior. They seem to have a special relationship with you because a few times I noticed them scrambling around, trying to help you find a new place to sit for the day. Do you ask for their advice? Do you ask them how we are behaving? I just need to know going forward so I know who to trust.
 
OK, down to business. I want a new Lionel train track, an iPhone 6S and Madden 16! Please let Santa know.
 
Speaking of, I’m getting ready to compose my big letter to Santa and I heard it’s due back to the Clarendon Hills Park District office by tomorrow. Can you please help my mom remember to drop it off? If it’s late, Santa might not get it. But then again, you will tell him everything anyway, won’t you?
 
Upcoming events:
 

Letters from Santa at the Clarendon Hills Park District

$5.00 fee per letter
 
These personalized messages will be sent from the North Pole to boys and girls living in Clarendon Hills. All forms are available at the Clarendon Hills Park District Community Center, 315 E. Chicago Avenue, between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Mondays through Fridays. All forms must be returned no later than 5 p.m. on Friday, December 11 to allow Santa Claus enough time to write back!
 

Sunday, December 20

Ho Ho Ho! Santa and Mrs. Claus invite you to join them for a Christmas lunch. Families will enjoy a delicious lunch, holiday music, a holiday craft and a visit with Santa. Each child will receive a special gift from Santa to take home. Parents don’t forget to bring your camera to capture your child’s visit with Santa. All children must be accompanied by an adult.
 
12/20/15 1-3 PM – Registration deadline is December 14.
Mike is a village of Clarendon Hills resident; husband; Indian Princess; Indian Guide Dad; a Coach; an “old” football player and a real estate broker. Mike’s columns are usually crafted about the buzz in and around the area. It sometimes has a spin on real estate or cultural information, highlight a new business or announce school happenings. He might include a “get-to-know” about some of our interesting residents and even a little about history. Whatever it is, it is sure to be about the “Talk of the Town”.
 
 
 

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